definitely think both are true, and I suspect they do happen to everyone in some measure early in life but they’re neither aware of it nor do they process through it. a lot of avoidance or bailing out of the feelings at a young age which isn’t long term valuable
You've put words to something that I've had trouble articulating after leaving my tech job to start my own company. It was something I always wanted to do (so it should be all positive, right?) but didn't anticipate the mental journey and amount of angst I'd have after electing into limbo. I was also a bit surprised by how strongly I felt a loss of status.
In my experience there's also a valley of death similar to that of a startup - you start off excited about your reasons for going into limbo and you're still close enough to your status shields that they can reassure you. Then you hit a valley of death when the initial excitement wears off and you start feeling the status loss more strongly. For me during this time, the angst of the limbo was almost enough to push my out of limbo by giving up. I think leaving at this time is also the riskiest for ending up net neutral.
After I accepted what you're so aptly coining as "status loss", it felt less disorienting and has helped me do better work and focus more. Hopefully this will ultimately help me end up net positive after the status limbo.
glad it resonates with you! absolutely agree, usually there a little bump of excitement at first and when that wears off high risk of abandoning it which defeats the point of the original risk! that’s happened to me in a past visit to limbo. that’s the time when you really have to take a longer term view on what you’re trying to get out of it. surrounding yourself with other people who get it and focusing on smaller goals helps me
100% on all follow up points. Definitely yes on finding new people - which is one of the exciting parts - I'm starting to find, and be more intentionally about finding, people who understand or are in similar places to me.
Thanks for writing this! Reading it I wondered about limbo as a new desired status. I am in limbo myself (resigned to make space for something new), and a lot of people I interact with express "wow, if I could only ever...." so it's being held in regard by some. But when one is in it it's hard. Reading Venkatesh's Art of Gig right now, and speaks to how one needs to construct/create their own identity/status now that they aren't provided one by convention. !
Definitely. There's probably a little chart I will draw as an addendum. I think there's a tiny little status bump right when you announce your voluntary entry -- to a certain group of people, and then it precipitously drops and you have to scramble to reconstruct your limbo identity. Going to read VG's piece, haven't yet!
As someone who is in voluntary status limbo right now, I relate to this piece. One thing I’d add is that it also shows who your genuine relationships are (both personal and professional). I’ve learned that some people treat me very differently now than when I had “status”
Very true. Not something that's pleasant to admit but I think it's human nature, or maybe animal nature, to think about the value someone else could provide you by virtue of their perceived status at a given moment in time -- which of course when it becomes clear tells you the fickleness of their affiliation.
Excellent piece. It made me reflect on whether we should see voluntary & involuntary status limbo experiences as essential. And if so, whether there’s value in having those experiences come early in life.
I like the concept of "minimum viable status", and I agree it isn't the best but also not the worst.
Once you accrued enough "status points" within a specific circle, you feel stronger and you feel you don't have much to prove anymore.
That's possibly the best moment to jump into status limbo: you're psychologically free from status consideration concerns and, presumably, you have enough financial backing to take the leap (more or less) stress-free.
Glad it resonated, and yeah I think that’s ideal and can be done well. though how long it takes you to accrue it and the level you consider minimally sufficient are the big potential traps, need to be able to be rational about these and assess tradeoffs.
Wonderful article. As someone considering voluntary status limbo you've articulated really well what this choice really entails. I've thought about the financial dimension but I suspect the emotional dimension and impact on status will be the hardest
Sasha Chapin wrote about the 'moat of low status here' - https://sashachapin.substack.com/p/the-moat-of-low-status-68a and how status limbo could be a moat for those who embrace it. Almost like how uncertainty is a moat for startups. Great complement to what you wrote here
This is my 3rd time in status limbo. It's true you're more prepared each time but the risk is escaping it too soon. This is the first time I'm really taking the time to seize the "opportunity" of getting to a point of sheer alignment without jumping on the first rescue (job) coming my way. Hard to resist sometimes though.
💯 Bailing from status limbo without accomplishing what you set out to is I suspect very common. Maybe means you end up coming back to finish what you started. Keep the faith, find the answer you’re looking for :)
Felt an incredible amount of relatability reading this one. Left a tech job a year back to achieve personal goals (writing included) and try to start my own thing.
This one hit hard for me. I gave up a lucrative big tech job to go be an entrepreneur and learn different businesses I might want to pursue but have fallen flat. But time to accept the status limbo!
Good thing is people are mostly thinking about themselves, so you have as much time as you give yourself! I should say sometimes I think it’s ok to realize you weren’t ready for it and might need to take a break and come back later. No singular right way to do limbo!
I think of this issue a little less as status stability that you’re craving and more about financial stability. equally important but something I think people better anticipate before they take the leap, whereas many people are more surprised by their own reaction to the status instability. my two cents!
Definitely. For a lot of people that status is really important, and drive their behavior. For some reason it has never appealed to me :) and I’m glad it doesn’t.
I have been going through this for a while and so glad that I came across this. This helps in validating some thoughts, emotions and ambiguity felt multiple times over the years. If I may, I want to ask if you had ever written about the depth of ambition and how it differentiates from passion?
definitely think both are true, and I suspect they do happen to everyone in some measure early in life but they’re neither aware of it nor do they process through it. a lot of avoidance or bailing out of the feelings at a young age which isn’t long term valuable
You've put words to something that I've had trouble articulating after leaving my tech job to start my own company. It was something I always wanted to do (so it should be all positive, right?) but didn't anticipate the mental journey and amount of angst I'd have after electing into limbo. I was also a bit surprised by how strongly I felt a loss of status.
In my experience there's also a valley of death similar to that of a startup - you start off excited about your reasons for going into limbo and you're still close enough to your status shields that they can reassure you. Then you hit a valley of death when the initial excitement wears off and you start feeling the status loss more strongly. For me during this time, the angst of the limbo was almost enough to push my out of limbo by giving up. I think leaving at this time is also the riskiest for ending up net neutral.
After I accepted what you're so aptly coining as "status loss", it felt less disorienting and has helped me do better work and focus more. Hopefully this will ultimately help me end up net positive after the status limbo.
glad it resonates with you! absolutely agree, usually there a little bump of excitement at first and when that wears off high risk of abandoning it which defeats the point of the original risk! that’s happened to me in a past visit to limbo. that’s the time when you really have to take a longer term view on what you’re trying to get out of it. surrounding yourself with other people who get it and focusing on smaller goals helps me
100% on all follow up points. Definitely yes on finding new people - which is one of the exciting parts - I'm starting to find, and be more intentionally about finding, people who understand or are in similar places to me.
Thanks for writing this! Reading it I wondered about limbo as a new desired status. I am in limbo myself (resigned to make space for something new), and a lot of people I interact with express "wow, if I could only ever...." so it's being held in regard by some. But when one is in it it's hard. Reading Venkatesh's Art of Gig right now, and speaks to how one needs to construct/create their own identity/status now that they aren't provided one by convention. !
Definitely. There's probably a little chart I will draw as an addendum. I think there's a tiny little status bump right when you announce your voluntary entry -- to a certain group of people, and then it precipitously drops and you have to scramble to reconstruct your limbo identity. Going to read VG's piece, haven't yet!
Love that!! Like a Temporary Status Bump.
Nice read. check out "status anxiety" by Alain D Botton
As someone who is in voluntary status limbo right now, I relate to this piece. One thing I’d add is that it also shows who your genuine relationships are (both personal and professional). I’ve learned that some people treat me very differently now than when I had “status”
Very true. Not something that's pleasant to admit but I think it's human nature, or maybe animal nature, to think about the value someone else could provide you by virtue of their perceived status at a given moment in time -- which of course when it becomes clear tells you the fickleness of their affiliation.
Great piece, writing that makes an amorphous feeling already present in my head into a clearly definable thing is wonderful.
Nellie Bowles' piece on prestige is great on this front too: https://www.thefp.com/p/how-we-changed-our-minds-in-2021
Thank you! Making the amorphous less amorphous is high praise. And thank you for the reading recommendation!
Excellent piece. It made me reflect on whether we should see voluntary & involuntary status limbo experiences as essential. And if so, whether there’s value in having those experiences come early in life.
I like the concept of "minimum viable status", and I agree it isn't the best but also not the worst.
Once you accrued enough "status points" within a specific circle, you feel stronger and you feel you don't have much to prove anymore.
That's possibly the best moment to jump into status limbo: you're psychologically free from status consideration concerns and, presumably, you have enough financial backing to take the leap (more or less) stress-free.
Thanks for writing this. Good read.
Glad it resonated, and yeah I think that’s ideal and can be done well. though how long it takes you to accrue it and the level you consider minimally sufficient are the big potential traps, need to be able to be rational about these and assess tradeoffs.
Very true.
Wonderful article. As someone considering voluntary status limbo you've articulated really well what this choice really entails. I've thought about the financial dimension but I suspect the emotional dimension and impact on status will be the hardest
Sasha Chapin wrote about the 'moat of low status here' - https://sashachapin.substack.com/p/the-moat-of-low-status-68a and how status limbo could be a moat for those who embrace it. Almost like how uncertainty is a moat for startups. Great complement to what you wrote here
thanks for sharing! definitely similar themes, not everyone can or will tolerate the limbo, so an indirect moat there for sure
Very interesting piece, thank you for sharing
Ty for reading! :)
This is my 3rd time in status limbo. It's true you're more prepared each time but the risk is escaping it too soon. This is the first time I'm really taking the time to seize the "opportunity" of getting to a point of sheer alignment without jumping on the first rescue (job) coming my way. Hard to resist sometimes though.
💯 Bailing from status limbo without accomplishing what you set out to is I suspect very common. Maybe means you end up coming back to finish what you started. Keep the faith, find the answer you’re looking for :)
Thanks - probably found it after 2y of status limbo aha
Felt an incredible amount of relatability reading this one. Left a tech job a year back to achieve personal goals (writing included) and try to start my own thing.
You write so well, Anu! Thank you 🤍
Glad to hear! Take some solace in us fellow residents of limbo :)
This one hit hard for me. I gave up a lucrative big tech job to go be an entrepreneur and learn different businesses I might want to pursue but have fallen flat. But time to accept the status limbo!
Good thing is people are mostly thinking about themselves, so you have as much time as you give yourself! I should say sometimes I think it’s ok to realize you weren’t ready for it and might need to take a break and come back later. No singular right way to do limbo!
'But they were concerned about the questions “people” would ask. People had certain expectations of them. They would wonder.'
For me, it's been the matter of money more than people. Will I be able to sustain my current lifestyle if I let go of this status?
I think of this issue a little less as status stability that you’re craving and more about financial stability. equally important but something I think people better anticipate before they take the leap, whereas many people are more surprised by their own reaction to the status instability. my two cents!
Definitely. For a lot of people that status is really important, and drive their behavior. For some reason it has never appealed to me :) and I’m glad it doesn’t.
I have been going through this for a while and so glad that I came across this. This helps in validating some thoughts, emotions and ambiguity felt multiple times over the years. If I may, I want to ask if you had ever written about the depth of ambition and how it differentiates from passion?